They have leaves, we have roots.

our love is just like a tree
from a little bulb it grows ever so mighty
to be the shade of the forest,grand and free.

the top shine with such majestic view
among the lush leaves, a drop of chilling dew
our love is sweet and wild, with me and you.

our tree keeps on getting stronger
in the face of mega quake and flashing thunder
it stand on solid ground, a loyal defender.

with love our roots dwell into the soil, going deep
to gather every strength exists, from tears we weep
to face the raging storm, a fight to keep.

time passed by yet we stand calm and still
watching as other trees fall, by force and by will
the wrong tree, the wrong love, a love to kill.

the season changes our tree accordingly
from bright summer flowers to winter,cold and chilly
a cycle repeated in beautiful way, slowly.

an eagle perch on our branch and question our love
why is it so firm, and solidly reaching for above
when there's so many leaves taken by the dove.

and we shall smile at its amusing cahoots
as we ponder, all the while standing uproot
and say where they have leaves, we have roots.

Caring for the sick

hi peeps~
as all of you might know by now, my semester break was spent caring for my bed-ridden grandma. and i'm proud to say i enjoyed every moment to the fullest. not only did i get to spend time with my beloved grandma, the experience that i've gained was incredibly useful for future use. so i'm going to share some of the knowledge/ tips/ ways that i have gained these past three weeks. i hope you will find them useful and able to apply the knowledge when the time comes.

firstly, it is important to identify the specific diet that the patient take. like my grandma, she can't eat seafood due to her gout disease. but she have no problem consuming anything else. one thing to be aware of when you prepare their meal, try to verify the menu so that they won't regurgitate the food on your palm due to hyper level of boredom towards the menu. sick people are just like toddlers. they have their demands, needs, yearning and disapproval. the least that you can do is avoid feeding them porridge every morning, afternoon, evening, night, every day! trust me, they will be extremely happy and grateful if you let them eat those nice food. emphasize more on preparing vegetables and fruits in the menu instead of the usual chicken. if you want to feed them fish, make sure you separate the tiny fish bone first okay. you don't want to be a killer letting your grands choke on fish bone. seriously.

secondly, prepare all the necessary requirements earlier, especially if the patient is bed-ridden. adult diapers and baby wipes must be on top of your shopping list every week. not only that, prepare some ointment or medicated cream for the skin too. i'll tell you why. when i said bed-ridden, of course you are the one who is going to get down to business with the diapers. yeah, so, when it comes to cleaning the poops and pee, baby wipes are the saviour! don't use those dry tissue because this might hurt the private parts of the patient. and since i'm talking about the grands of the family, you really don't want to come out as the rough grandchild here, don't you? since baby wipes are literally moist, it makes the whole cleaning process easier! take note that when the patient is bed-ridden and wears diapers all the time, there's high chance that the skin of the back part of your body might suffer some blisters which might lead to a scene of peeled off skin especially around the buttock area. this is because too much lying down plus the soaked condition of the diapers will make your skin go crazy with dampness and it goes bang! a hole behind your buttock and they are damn painful! this is where you need the cream/ ointment to help ease the pain. better yet, get some of those smart doctors to prescribed the best medicated cream for your beloved grandpa/grandma. and don't forget to change the diapers regularly because unlike babies, adult have a lot of water in their body ready to be release anytime they want.


thirdly, get your grands all gear up for some exercise every day! if possible, get a wheelchair to help them move around like babies in walkers. too many hours lying down on the bed is not good for the body as it need to move in order to gain some strength. didn't the doctors advice you to exercise more? hee. besides, this will give some sort of moral support to the patients that there's still hope for recovery (even if in reality it doesn't). not only that, a change of scenery will boost the patients' mood because admit it, staring at the ceiling is soooooo fun....not. massage their legs and hands as sick people are easily disturbed by coldness and numbness and all the other ness available. make those blood flow again, bebeh!

finally, never ever leave them alone for too long (even if you have the asam pedas on the stove with bright red flame). since they are bed-ridden, means they can't even sit for a long time, they feel lonely if there's no one to talk to. as grandparents are really chatty, they need someone to listen and talk to them all the time. it will be a great jolly idea if you let the toddlers sit with the grandparents. but take note that only nice, sweet smelling toddlers are allowed! naughty climb-here-and-there-like-monkey toddlers are strictly prohibited from going near the patient. strictly prohibited, i say! because grandma just love cute, darling babies who will puff the powder on grandma's face in order to help mommy take care of her sick granny. ehehe. even if your grandparents can't hear clearly what you're saying, just go on agreeing everything they say in order to make everyone happy. haha. because your presence is what matters the most.

so, i take it you are sighing with relief while saying oh-my-God-this-is-such-a-super-duper-hyper-long-post-it-makes-my-eyes-goes-crazy-reading-it! hee.
well, that's the general ideas that i can share at the moment.. if you can handle these four stuff, the rest will be just like snapping fingers, peeps.
till then, care for the sick with sincerity, people!
adieu.

Here's for you.

As i sit at the table tonight
Loss without words nor phrase
Thinking how on earth that i possibly might
Tell you that this is more than just a phase

This feelings that we intimately share
An epiphany arrived before its too late
With no deeds to show how much we care
This journey written in our fate

Finally we reach this moment
A moment only visible once in my dreams
all the hopes and faith that i have summon
Worth thousands more than what it seems

I shall write in the lines of these syllables
Where memories reminisce with a knowing smile
That no matter how much tears nor troubles
None shall stop me from loving you, even for awhile

Atok Sayang.

Hi peeps~

have you been doing anything productive this holiday? Hee
well, I must say I have! *clap,clap*

since the starts of my holiday, I’ve been helping my family in taking care of my sick grandmother. As the self-proclaimed over-spoilt beloved affectionate granddaughter of grandma, I am so into taking care of my Atok! Words cannot express the joy I had while doting on my grandma every day. 

Of course, I love being the nurse to any sick people simply because I think sick people are sooooo darn cute and affectionate! The theory is simple enough : when someone is sick, they will be depending on us to make life easier for them, and they will appreciate our presence thus they will follow whatever we said and won’t make any fuss that last too long. Admit it, if we talk slowly, all nice and sweet and caring and gentle, surely they won’t have the heart to be so stubborn like a bull right? Hence, they will follow our say like a sweet little doll! Phewit!

And with my granny, she’s just so sweet and adorable! Despite her fragile and small physical appearance, she has such big, strong spirit and determination to live her life as long as she can! And the ironic part is, she’s getting better and healthier when she stops consuming all the drugs medicine provided by the hospital and those entire specialist whatnots.  Her condition has been improving a lot since my last visit which is at the hospital few months ago. Now she can finish one plate of meal, all clean and taken without fuss. And her cheek is getting a bit chubbier too! And she smile, like, a lot and starts to be the good old granny again. Gosh, I’m so happy for her!

I enjoy each and every minute of my time as granny’s nurse. I’d feed her until she’s full, change her napkin, change her bed sheet, massage her slowly, prepare her bath water, help her perform wudhu’,sit with her and watch her fall asleep, and sometimes, sleep near her with her palm on my cheek. Hee

I love my granny more than I can say because she has been taking care of me ever since I was six years old, and I’ve always been her favourite storyteller, favourite durian’s flowers collector, favourite trishaw-to-the-market companion, and also the favourite little girl to her and friends. I remember when I was six, my kindergarten teacher, Cikgu Siti will take me with her after school in her red Kancil and drive me to granny’s house. After I take my bath, atok always have some yummy dessert for me to munch while she busy herself with household chores. i will play all by myself until it’s time for lunch  where her tastylicious cooking will wake the hungry ghost in me abruptly! Afterwards, I will accompany her to collect some fruits from the orchard (usually banana and rambutans and the ever delicious kuini fruits) and perhaps, when the season arrived, make some nice bangles from durian flowers too!  how come the flowers smells so nice yet the fruit smells…erghhhh-like? ==’’

sometimes we’ll take the bus to the market and hunt for fish and stuff and a cone of ice cream (a must!). afterwards, the old pak cik beca with koboi hat will take our plastics and green plastic basket and arrange them nicely in his trishaw while me and atok went to the shop and bought, the joy of my heart, Ding Dong and Tora! Before long we’ll be two tiny people in the trishaw peddled by the pak cik beca with koboi hat on our journey home. Soon atok will be busy in the kitchen and I’ll be busy with my toys! Haha

usually in the evening we’ll be outside at the lawn. I will help atok watering her bougainvilleas (she love them damn much!) and feed the chicken and the cat. I used to chase the little chicks like crazy around the house to feed them. It seems like a six year old with a can of paddy is the biggest enemy of the chicks because I used to chase their mother hens too. Quite the hen-chaser i am, right? Hahaha

at random times, when I played outside, a frog will appear out of the drain and I’ll be screaming at the top of my lung! Atok will dash to me like the granny knight in the shining baju kurung armour complete with her sword, the sweep, and she will swung her sweep like a pro golfer and send the frog flying into the vacant land outside her house territory. Awesome atok! And she also curses the frog for scaring me. Bha ha ha. 

the pro frog-golfer! =D

That’s just a little piece of memory of me with granny, peeps. Imma tell you this, I would not exchange my atok for the world even if I have no other choice. She’s been taking care of me with so much love and affection back then so it’s my turn now to return the favors. And I’ll show that atok does no wrong in spoiling and loving me more than the other grandchildren! 

Till then, everyone. 

Love your life!

Death,

have you ever wonder how you would die?
i know its kinda ridiculous questioning this matter but, just out of curiousity, have you ever drop a penny about death?

i used to think of the worst death situation which could ever happen to me, because face it, we know nothing about death, literally. sometimes when i sit alone, my thought will come up with so many possibilities of how my own death could turn out like.

i used to imagine that i would die out of cancer, of any form and type, and that i will succumb into such long suffering before i breathe my last. i imagine how i could find the strength to keep on fighting the sickness, the strength to prepare myself for the final moment, i wonder if there's anyone who will keep up with my sickness and take care of me out of sincerity without complaining or being rude to my frail condition. and in the end, i would think of how the cancer cells refuse to let me hold on any longer, and i would die a slow, painful, suffering death.

i'd be thinking of dying in a freak accident. perhaps, my car will crash in the highway when my husband try to avoid the other vehicle, and our car will crash onto the divider dramatically and we'll have our nightmare comes alive. i would be trembling with blood oozing from my head, broken ribs and bones, unable to move at all. i would see my husband pale in faint, my child broken from the impact of the crash. and i would call their names, ever so faintly, try to make sure that they are alive even if i can't survive the crash. i would force my fingers to move and search for my husband's hand, the only warmth to my heart. my husband is truly unconscious, unaware to my dying state. i shall breathe my last against my husband's arm, the arm that is forever mine to hold.

perhaps, i would die from a brokenhearted period. if my husband leave this world before me, i'd be so sad i lost all the will to live. for my husband is my soul. and when he left me, a part of my soul is shredded by force. i would refuse to eat or mix around. i might lock myself in the room often, crying to sleep. i would be dreaming of my husband, forever reminiscing the sweet time we had together, and i might spend hours hugging my husband's shirt to me, smelling the scent that could no longer be with me. in the end, everything will be too much to bare, and i shall die among my husband's things.

yet, i might die of old age too. old, fragile and weak. with arthritis and back pain catching up with my old age. i might live a good life watching my children grow up into fine man and woman, achieving greatness in life. and my husband will be enjoying his old age with me, cherishing the moment we have with each other. i would smile when looking back at all the hardships that i've survive in my marriage. sometimes, when we sit for tea, my husband will reminisce back our memories when we were young. he will be slow in his walks and i will hold his hand loyally, i will still love him despite his wrinkles and grey hair and perhaps, a pillowish tummy too. my old age will be good and harmony. and one day everypne shall wake up to find that i had die in my sleep. and there will be silent tears in everyone's heart, and literal one on their faces. my husband will kiss my forehead and still love me even in my death.

maybe all my thoughts regarding death are negatives but i always think that if i visualized all the worst possibilities, then only i can find the strength to be strong and bear with it if it really happens. to find peace with what God has written for us requires strength of the utmost level. at least, by thinking of all these sad pictures, i could still smile with the little blessing and precious gift in life that i received at the moment. 

remember, always find the reasons to smile everyday even in times of trouble and sadness, because your smile might make someone's day happier.
so smile and be grateful with all the love and joy that you get today.

till the next post, people.